The Three Month Rule - Steve Tobak (2024)

FAQs

What is the 3 month rule in psychology? ›

The 3-month rule is a 90-day trial period where a couple “tests out” a relationship to see if they're compatible. During the 90 days, couples learn about each other's likes, dislikes, and possible red flags. At the end of the 3 months, couples discuss if they want to pursue a long-term relationship.

The rule assumes all couples progress at a similar rate, when in reality every relationship is different and moves at its own pace. By relying too much on a three-month timeline to reveal the fate of your relationship, you could mistakenly: Fail to address red flags.

After a breakup you want to go into no contact for at least 2-3 months where you focus fully on you & your life. This means no social media stalking either!

According to research by dating app Inner Circle, 68% of daters have had a relationship end after three months. This is usually due to something called the "feelings gap". This gap is the difference in the amount of time each partner takes to decide whether or not they want to be in a long-term relationship.

The 3-month rule can be thought of as a rule, test, or even "probationary period" for dating that suggests waiting three months before deciding whether to commit to a person. And given all we know about the initial stages of dating, it's pretty solid advice.

The initial three months of a relationship are all about the excitement and getting to know each other. During this period, you are exploring each other's interests, hobbies, values, and quirks. This is the phase where you assess whether there's a strong initial attraction and compatibility.

Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.

The three month dating rule is a trial period that allows couples to shift from the honeymoon phase of dating to an integrated love phase. "What I mean by that is usually a few months into dating, we start to see some of the quirks, or maybe we start to notice things that we find annoying or irritating," Pharaon says.

The Third Option: Pacing it Slowly. You can live by the 3-6-9 rule. That means no big decisions about a relationship, or about sex, until you've been seeing each other for 3 or 6 or 9 months. (And it's safer to stick with 6 or 9 months before you start seriously considering really big decisions, like having sex.)

The first three months of a relationship are a probationary period, try to hold back from going full force into a relationship to ensure you see red flags that might be obscured by feelings What is your go-to definition of the three month rule?

What is the 3 3 3 rule in a relationship? ›

Furthermore, the 3-3-3 rule can also help couples establish a healthy balance between individuality and togetherness. By spending three days apart, three days together, and three days doing individual activities, couples can maintain their own interests and hobbies while still prioritizing their relationship.